Grounding and Relaxation Basics
Learn basics of grounding and relaxation from a Therapist in Wakefield
Simple Strategies from a Therapist in Wakefield to Help You Feel More Present and at Peace
Feeling wound up or tuned out more often than you want? You’re Not Alone
It is really common (unfortunately) to have trouble unwinding and this can lead to irritability, trouble sleeping, a short temper and general exhaustion. You could be wound up from news events, interpersonal stressors, family conflict, pressure at work, or simply what feel like overwhelming demands in your daily life.
One piece of the puzzle to resolving this feeling is learning how to get your body to relax a bit, which is easier said than done. Fortunately, small changes can have a big impact emotionally to help you feel more in control.
What Exactly Is Grounding?
Grounding is essentially a way of helping you feel centered in the here-and-now and more fully present with yourself and your environment. A helpful metaphor may be to consider a dandelion in the wind. The fluffy puffs will blow away in the wind and end up scattered. You might find a puff on the driveway, a lawn, the middle of the street or in your hair. The stem of the dandelion, however, will stay rooted in the ground regardless of the wind. Yes, it may sway, yet it never detaches and stays firmly associated with the ground. Importantly, it stays planted where it gets nutrients to thrive. For people, grounding is essentially finding a way to figuratively plant those roots to keep you where you want to be.
Grounding can be helpful for a variety of different forms that distress can take. A brief list of some of the many examples includes:
Feeling like you have been trying to concentrate on something but finding your thoughts way to scattered to do so
Feeling numbed out and doom scrolling to avoid uncomfortable activities or feelings
Feeling somewhat dissociated from your environment, when you might be in a social gathering and everyone around you is chatting yet you hardly feel present and feel more like you are outside your body looking in at the situation
Feeling like your chest is pounding because all you can think about is everything you need to do and how impossible it will be
Is Grounding the Same as Relaxation?
Great question because the two are often used interchangeable, yet there some distinct differences. Relaxation is primarily focused on getting your body to a more calm and regulated physiological state. Grounding is primarily focused on getting your mind (and dare I say, also your soul) into the present moment.
Why do people often use the two interchangeably? They can produce similar feelings and a general sense of better well-being. They work really well together at times, even though relaxing is focused on calmness and grounding has an element of activation and alertness to it.
Is Relaxation Simply Chilling Out?
Sort of…yet authentic chilling out is not that easy and numbing out is easy to mistake for relaxation! A lot of activities can produce either result, so it is often about how the activity is done.
How do you know then if you have achieved relaxation? I consider 2 key indicators, and you can use either or both:
What is your body doing? If your heart rate and/or breathing rate have slowed, then you have found more authentic relaxation. Your body is unrushed and has activated the parasympathetic nervous system, which is a state of restfulness. You may notice yourself yawn. You may notice yourself ready to poop or realizing you are hungry…all of these are cues that your body is in more of a maintenance-mode rather than intensity/protection-mode.
How do you feel after the activity? If you feel like you are getting back to regular activity the same way you left it, you probably haven’t really relaxed. Numbing and zoning-out activities tend to put a sort of pause on stress and when the play button is hit, all the same feelings resume. If you find yourself returning to activity with more focus, better concentration, patience and creativity, you likely did more genuine relaxing. This is not usually going to be very dramatic, yet if you watch for cues, you are very likely to notice the difference.
Should I Focus More on Relaxation or on Grounding? Which is better?
Neither is better or worse, they are simply different. It depends what you need, what you find easier to work on and what you hope to change. I honestly believe the best approach is to try some different strategies for each, see what feels like it resonates most with you and gets you the feeling you want, then dig a little deeper to find more strategies to evoke that feeling while still dabbling in other approaches.
Some people find a couple techniques that work well for them, lock in on them and use them indefinitely with good effect. Others get a bit bored with techniques or the strategies lose their luster and they need to keep evolving. I personally fall into the latter group, so it can be a bit annoying and tiresome at times to keep up with the changes my brain wants, but I also get the enjoyment of finding a fit repeatedly which is weirdly fun and satisfying.
If you are more frustrated by feeling numb or zoned out, you are more likely to benefit from grounding-focused strategies. If you feel more on edge and like your thoughts are racing, relaxation strategies are likely to pack a bigger punch for you.
How a Therapist in Wakefield Can Help You Build a Personalized Toolkit
Whatever your struggles are that are leading you to consider relaxation and grounding, working with a licensed therapist can be highly beneficial. A therapist will provide you with experienced, personalized feedback on how to tailor your approach and how these strategies fit in with an overall emotional wellness plan. Nothing happens in isolation, yet there can be really helpful cascade effects between these strategies and other interventions.
For example, you might be struggling with feeling really overwhelmed, yet aware that you spend more time than you would like scrolling on your phone in the evening instead of doing all the things you keep stressing about needing to do. Therapy might help you explore any aspects of the tasks that you may be avoiding without even realizing it and help you structure your schedule to make the tasks more approachable. Therapy might also identify that you do indeed need time for rest during the day, so we would explore how you can build in meaningful, authentic rest periods to your day so you are not craving them so much in the evening. Then, we might explore how to use relaxation skills to feel more centered when approaching a challenging task, or we might use some grounding skills to help you transition out of activities like scrolling to ensure the rest period has the desired end time with a smooth transition back to alertness and activity. This is one of the many ways that relaxation and grounding with a comprehensive therapy treatment plan to get you feeling more in control and satisfied with your life.
In-Person and Online Therapy Support for Grounding, Relaxation, and More
Having a consistent time to work with a professional on getting your thoughts and feelings to work with you instead of against you can be incredibly helpful to making the progress you hope to see in your life. These strategies can be easily addressed through therapy in-person or online. With me, we will practice some of the strategies in session together and develop a clear plan on how you can try them on your own time.
It can take time to find the techniques that feel right for you, and this is where my stubbornness can help…I am convinced there is something for everyone, and we will work hard to ensure you find what works for you. It is likely to surprise you, as the ones that work for me have certainly surprised me.
Interested to learn more?
My next blog in this series will provide an introduction to some common strategies you can try on your own, so be sure to check that out!
Looking for a therapist in Wakefield to help you feel more grounded, present and calm?
Whether you are feeling overwhelmed by daily stress, struggling to sleep, or just craving more peace in your life, I’m here to help. I offer in-person therapy in Wakefield and online sessions throughout Massachusetts, Vermont, and Connecticut.
Reach out today to schedule a free consultation — and let’s explore what grounding and relaxation can look like for you.