Grounding and Relaxation: Getting Started
Simple Strategies from a Therapist in Wakefield to Help You Feel More Present and at Peace
Strategies for Grounding & Relaxation from a Therapist in Wakefield
The first blog in this series worked to define what grounding is, how it is similar and different from relaxation and how they are different from simply trying to chill out in order to find relief. The blog also explored how to decide which approach to try and how therapy can be helpful to integrating these techniques into a more comprehensive plan to support your well-being.
I suggest you check out that blog, and if you are interested in getting started with grounding and relaxation techniques, read on for more information!
Where to start
Keep in mind this isn’t a big commitment and simply becoming willing to try these techniques is the first step. If you find your mind wandering aimlessly, you might want more grounding. If you can’t stop yourself from worry thoughts an intensely thinking about things over and over, you might want more relaxation. If you feel sluggish and inert, you might want more grounding. If you feel like you are buzzing and can’t stay still, you might want more relaxation.
Either way, expect to need to tinker a bit. Some approaches may feel clumsy and weird at first and you might get a lot more comfortable once they feel familiar. Others may simply be a dud and not a fit for your personality. Commit to staying the course and allowing yourself time to adjust, while also allowing yourself to keep trying new strategies until you find what works for you.
Grounding Techniques You Can Do Anytime
As a refresher, grounding techniques are designed to get you back to the present moment and to feel like you are in your own skin again. Whether wanting to snap out of a dissociated state, return from an unwanted flashback or simply get out of your head and into your surroundings, grounding can help.
Below are a few great strategies to try:
5-4-3-2-1 technique: In this strategy, you name [in your head, but you can do it out loud if your circumstances allow, which can be more powerful be hearing your own voice]: 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste. Bringing yourself back into your primary senses can be very helpful, particularly if your mind has you going to a different scene than the one which you are actually living. If you have trouble remembering which sense has which number of things to name, don’t worry about that detail. The strategy is to get you in your senses and what I described is what is typically recommended because it’s easier to find 5 visual things to name than to identify 5 tastes, but do what comes to mind. The point is to be specific about connecting your sensory input to your surroundings.
Get cold: The most common recommendation is to hold an ice cube. The very cold nature of the ice can force your sensory awareness into the feeling in your hand, thereby pulling your mind out of wherever it had been wandering. Don’t hold ice for too long though and risk damaging your skin! For some people, splashing very cold water on their face can also be really helpful to send a bit of a shock to snap back into the present moment.
Get into a color: Try to name 20 red items that you can see. Then try to name 20 purple things that you can see. This helps force your visual field to stay on your immediate surroundings and by doing that, you reconnect more with the world immediately around you. The colors don’t matter so much as spending the time to be specific and consistent with challenging your visual input to stay in there here-and-now.
Get into your sense of touch: Try to name as many things that you can feel against your body as possible…then try to name 5 more. You will be surprised how many you can name if you really stick with it! Personally, I like this a bit more than the visual cues as it connects my body to my physical space and holds my concentration better, but I know many people prefer the visual challenge, we all have our preferences! You may need to dig deeply, but examples I can think of as I type this are:
The texture of my shirt on my arms
The soft weight of my necklace on my collarbone
The light pressure of my headphones on my ears
The texture of my socks under my feet while I stand
The tension from my shoelaces on my sneakers
The feeling of my pants on my calves
The feeling of space and air where my pants are looser at the bottom and no longer hit my calves
The feeling of my hair on my neck
The feeling of my chapstick on my lips
The feeling of the keyboard on my fingertips
The feeling of my wrist pad on my wrists
The slight tension where my hair clip is holding my hair
If I try really hard, I can convince myself that I can feel the top edge of my sock on my ankle
My cat bonking her head into my leg as I finish typing this - it’s real life after all :)
Relaxation Techniques To Regain Control
There seem to be nearly an endless amount of relaxation strategies to try, which can feel overwhelming at first. This is good news though, because it means you are sure to find one that suits you eventually. Here is a sampling of some popular strategies:
Progressive Muscle Relaxation: This strategy was used in some of the early research that showed relaxation strategies can have significant, lasting, positive effects on physical health. I like to guide people through a session of it together in my office or over an online visit first, then identify which parts did/did not work for them and determine next steps from there to practice on their own. You can find a lot of great audio scripts to guide you through this with a quick internet search.
Box breathing: Keeps it simple! Inhale slowly for 4 seconds hold it 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds. Repeat as needed. Many people like this because it’s simple and can be helpful to visualize drawing a square as you proceed through the breaths.
Body scan: This is a great way to promote awareness of bodily sensations and slow down a bit in the process. You simply close your eyes and slowly, slowly (yes, slowly, I will repeat this again and again as the point is to go slowly and attend to the details) to mentally scan your entire body and notice where things feel particularly tense and where they feel relative more freedom/openness. The purpose is not to change anything, but simply become aware. Personally, when I do this, I can always rely on my earlobes to be a place that’s not holding tension. Yes, go that slowly and pay that much attention to detail, you will probably find a few surprises!
Guided imagery: There are SO many ways to do this, so for simplicity’s sake, I will describe this as a general process of closing your eyes and visualizing something calm and soothing. A beautiful beach is the classic example of this, but it can be something more personal, like visualizing walking through a room that is filled with positive memories, or watching clouds roll by in different formations. It helps to have a sense of motion or detail in the imagery to prevent your brain from getting bored and allowing your thoughts to wander. When I do this technique together with people, we work to identify something of high value and peace, or what evokes the desired feeling they want. The most effective images are highly personalized.
Abdominal breathing: Let’s face it, most of us don’t breathe in ways that are optimal for relaxation. Yes, we are keeping ourselves alive which is critical, yet we are often taking more shallow breaths than necessary which can keep us in a heightened state as our brain interprets those shallow breaths as a sign we need to be alert. To get more relaxation, we want to give our body a chance to get rid of the carbon dioxide building in our bloodstream by exhaling, and of course get some fresh air in too. It helps to review this together in a session so I can review how you use your breaths and make the individual adjustments needed to get deep, grounding breaths. A great way to practice at home is to lay on your back and put a tissue box on your belly. Try to make the tissue box move up and down with your breaths while keeping your chest still.
When Grounding and Relaxation Feel Hard — And Why That’s Okay
If these strategies are not the norm for you, I would not expect them to come easily on the first, second or even third try. It’s a new skill, a new way of using your body and a new way of using your mind. Like most things, however, practice will lead to improvement. Give yourself a true chance to practice, to adjust and to allow your body to get used to the activity. If you have tried it ten times with no change, scrap it and try something else, that is okay!
There can be a lot of reasons to struggle with these techniques, whether it be chronic pain, medical illness, trauma or beliefs against “woo-woo” things like grounding and relaxation. Therapy can be extremely helpful at tailoring the techniques to your unique needs and ensuring that you find a way forward that works for you.
How a Therapist in Wakefield Can Help You with Grounding, Relaxation, and More
Having a consistent time to work with a professional on getting your thoughts and feelings to work with you instead of against you can be incredibly helpful to making the progress you hope to see in your life. These strategies can be easily addressed through therapy in-person or online. With me, we will practice some of the strategies in session together and develop a clear plan on how you can try them on your own time.
It can take time to find the techniques that feel right for you, and this is where my stubbornness can help…I am convinced there is something for everyone, and we will work hard to ensure you find what works for you. It is likely to surprise you, as the ones that work for me have certainly surprised me.
Interested to learn more?
My next blog in this series will provide an introduction to tackling the ominous feelings associated with feeling overwhelmed. I suggest you stay tuned for more helpful information!
Looking for a therapist in Wakefield to help you feel more grounded, present and calm?
Whether you are feeling overwhelmed by daily stress, struggling to sleep, or just craving more peace in your life, I’m here to help. I offer in-person therapy in Wakefield and online sessions throughout Massachusetts, Vermont, and Connecticut.
Reach out today to schedule a free consultation — and let’s explore what grounding and relaxation can look like for you.