How a Therapist in Wakefield, MA Can Support You Through Life Transitions (Big or Small)
How a therapist in Wakefield can help you through life transitions
Life Transitions Are Inevitable — But That Doesn’t Make Them Easy
Even positive changes in life can bring up feelings of stress or grief. After all, the beginning of something new inherently means the end of something else. This could be starting or ending school, changing careers, losing a job, becoming a parent, moving to a new city or even simply a new apartment. It can certainly involve romantic relationship changes and retirement as well. Some of these transitions have an inherent sense of loss associated, while others are times that you might feel like you should be happy and excited, but you feel much more trepidation instead.
It is really normal to lose our footing when going through major transitions like this, or even smaller ones, such as a change in roommate or officemate at work. The good news is that there are ways to honor the challenge of the transition and also dive more deeply into the fulfillment it can provide to you so you feel like you are moving in a direction you want to go. If you find yourself stuck, a therapist in Wakefield can certainly help you out at any time.
Why Transitions Can Feel So Emotionally Demanding
Transitions can simply be exhausting sometimes. Sure, if you are moving into a new apartment, you expect your body to be fatigued from running all your belongings around, and you may expect some mental fatigue from all the decisions involved around what should go where and figuring out where you packed your toothbrush, but many people are surprised they feel emotionally exhausted as well. In this example of a new apartment, your mind is also being taxed with orienting to new surroundings and adjusting to new routines like turning left out of your bedroom to go to the kitchen instead of turning right. Only it is thousands and thousands of tiny changes your brain is tracking all.the.time in your new space. Additionally, all your external routines may have adjustment, like going to a different grocery store which may have a different layout, taking a different route everywhere you go and having different social interactions along the way. Emotionally, your mind is likely to be scanning whether or not this move feels right to you, if it’s working as intended, mourning the familiarity of what you left and feeling curious about when it will feel like home again. All of this simply uses up internal resources and does not leave you with much left! Getting adequate sleep during times like this genuinely helps the memory centers of your brain consolidate all the new input from the day, yet a lot of people do the opposite and stay out late to socialize or stay up in bed ruminating during transitions. Losing out on that sleep can be the proverbial nail in the coffin for feeling more stressed the next day because your brain needs to re-learn a lot of what didn’t get consolidated the day before and the marathon continues.
Different transitions can bring up more existential concerns, and you might find yourself wondering if you have what it takes to adjust, whether or not you made the right decision, or you may simply get stuck in patterns of worrying about what is going to happen next and what life will look like after this transition.
Emotional demands may be even higher if the transition stirs up feelings of earlier life losses or challenging transitions, as you are then coping with those all over again at the same time as the new transition.
With all of these demands, it is no wonder that transitions can be emotionally demanding! The good news is that you can work on reducing the emotional demands and if you get stuck, therapy can be extremely helpful to support you in understanding what is happening internally and developing plans to find relief.
You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone: How a Therapist in Wakefield Helps During Life Transitions
People often come to therapy during life transitions because they feel deeply alone, fearful or overwhelmed. Usually, they feel stuck. I often hear people sharing concerns like “everyone seems to have figured this out but me,” or “I don’t know how I go here” and very often, “it’s so scary having no idea what is going to happen next or if I’m doing the right thing.” While these are all very normal ways to feel during transitions, they are also very heavy.
Therapy provides a supportive environment where you can slow down and get feedback on patterns that are happening, be prompted to reflect in ways that can help you put your finger on the primary source(s) of your distress, and develop more adaptive ways of navigating a transition.
For example, I recently worked with a young woman whose father was starting to show some early signs of cognitive decline. Understandably, she was very shaken by this, yet she found that over weeks, she was preoccupied thinking of him and felt her worries were disproportionate to his overall positive health. When she raised this in therapy, we were able to identify that she had realized her role was likely to become one of a caregiver to him over the upcoming decade and even though there were no tangible needs yet, once she saw that future, it was overwhelming for her. We named the grief she was experiencing over losing the full faith in her father’s health she had enjoyed to date, which resulted in more sadness initially, yet much more comfort and acceptance relatively quickly. She was able to name her fears for the future, yet by naming them, she was also able to name how she would be able to cope with future challenges and what resources she might need to slowly strengthen in anticipation of this transition. She started sharing this experience lightly with her friends instead of keeping it hidden and found a lot of comfort that many of her peers were going through something similar, which helped her feel less alone and also helped her feel hopeful for ongoing, deeper connection with them in years ahead. While therapy was not able to change anything about her father’s prognosis, it helped her feel much more comfortable with the transition underway and anticipated ahead, and she was able to refocus back on daily life.
Regaining Your Footing During Uncertain Times
While not every life transition is a welcome one, hopefully you can imagine yourself emerging from such transitions with an ultimately greater sense of purpose, connection and clarity. We often avoid feeling grief and sadness, but by getting specific about what we have lost, whether that is a relationship, a sense of familiarity, a sense of security or something else, we can grieve it in a more authentic way once we can name it. In doing so, we can also name what we want to carry us through the transition and focus on the path forward instead of only looking back, feeling regret or feeling lost and frantic. It is possible to regain your footing through even an unwanted transition and emerge with more trust in yourself and a greater connection to what matters most to you. Transitions inherently mark an ending, and they also mark a beginning which you can work to define in a way to be meaningful to you.
People often do not expect willful transitions to bring so much stress but therapy can be really helpful for these too! Sometimes starting a new job seems so exciting, or maybe you got a promotion, but suddenly being in the new job you find yourself feeling like you are flailing, not knowing how to do everything, worrying that people will regret hiring you and feeling exhausted by trying to act like you know what you are doing. The grief with this can be for losing assuredness, losing the security that comes with being familiar with and confident in a role. We can take for granted the ease that comes with knowing how to do our work! So changing to a new job can represent a loss of all that security. By naming that, however, and identifying what skills will help you adapt at the new job, you can soon find comfort that things will work out and identify ways to manage the endurance needed while you adjust.
Starting Therapy in Wakefield: You Deserve Support That Meets You Where You Are
You may be navigating a life transition and feel overwhelmed, lost, angry or lonely. You do not need to go at this alone. Many people start therapy or change their therapy during times of transition and that is a great sign you are taking care of yourself and trying to do the best for yourself.
As a therapist in Wakefield, I specialize in helping young adults and adults move through big life changes with more clarity, confidence, and self-compassion. Whether you’re facing a major shift or just feeling lost in the in-between, therapy can help you feel more grounded and supported.
I offer in-person therapy in Wakefield, MA and online sessions throughout Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Vermont. Reach out today for a free consultation — let’s talk about how therapy can support you through whatever comes next.